the ordinary birth of the ordinary brown girl
7.8.99
The day the doctor said was a good day for me to born. It set my tone for how I see life. These eyes have seen more than my age would make you think. Now that, is a story for another day.
But again, I didn’t pick this date. My mom didn’t pick this date. This is the date that worked for my mom’s doctor. I don’t know why he picked this day. This practice is common with many births.
I wouldn’t change the date because my story fuels my desire to do the work I do. C- section births are sometimes needed but they can be calm and gentle. I know this from experience.
When I was born my dad almost missed my birth. Yes, almost missed my pre-scheduled cesarean birth. Why? Because living in Tacoma during the 90’s with a 7 year old and a girlfriend on maternity leave, he had to work. We needed things but he made it.
My dad was allowed to take photos during my birth at the local hospital Tacoma General. The photos showed the quickness of my birth. No delayed cord clamping. No skin to skin in the OR. I was taken to the nursery where I stayed for a couple hours.
Now for me, it’s weird hearing that I was alone like that. I don’t remember it but I know it effects me. I know that kind of separation can be hard on a baby and hard on breastfeeding.
My golden hour was alone in the nursery. Breastfeeding was not supported and I was given a bottle. No colostrum. No skin-to-skin once I was reconnected with my mom. Skin to skin was not the practice when I was born unfortunately.
The recovery was a mama wanting to enjoy her first baby girl. She didn’t care how, she was just happy I was here. My mom didn’t know what was standard care. She didn’t know of racial biases. She didn’t have a doula. She didn’t have a midwife. She got the same care many black women get in this country today.
Black women have the highest rate of C-Sections in America. This story, of an ordinary brown girl’s birth is the story of many brown girls’ births. These are the stories of our first day of life. Where it isn’t filled with only love. Its filled with the start of how this world will treat us.
- ordinary brown girl